Dr Ofweneke questions why women neglect self-care after marriage
Kenyan comedian and media personality Sande Bush Oyolo, widely known as Dr Ofweneke, has sparked a conversation about self-care in marriage, questioning why some women tend to neglect their personal grooming and appearance after tying the knot.
Speaking during his radio show on Thursday night, June 5, 2025, Ofweneke highlighted a shift in personal grooming among some women after marriage.
He stated that during courtship, many women invest time in their appearance, styling their hair, maintaining manicured nails, and wearing pleasant fragrances.
However, post-marriage, he noted a decline in these efforts, with some adopting a more relaxed approach to their appearance.
“Wewe tunakutana siku za kwanza. Ulikuwa unaka mrembo nywele umeweka vizuri; you are looking good; you are smelling nice; umejiweka makucha; you are looking amazing. Lakini ukishaingia kwa ndoa, unaanza kunuka hoho na kitunguu, unavaa t-shirt ya Wantam,” he questioned.
Loosely translates as “When we first met, you looked beautiful, your hair was well done, you were looking good, you smelt nice, and you had your nails done; you were looking amazing. But after getting married, you started smelling like capsicum and garlic, and you wear a Wantam t-shirt.”
Ofweneke on marriage
The comedian further emphasised that marriage should not be a comfort zone where personal upkeep is abandoned. Instead, he believes that both partners should continue to make efforts to maintain their appearance and the spark in the relationship.
In addition, Ofweneke noted that once partners become comfortable and stop making efforts to maintain the relationship, it can lead to its downfall.
He views marriage as a continuous challenge that should keep individuals on their toes, requiring ongoing effort and commitment from both partners.
“Marriage is not a place to be comfortable; ile siku utaanza kuwa comfortable utapoteza hiyo ndoa! You can not be comfortable. Marriage is a challenge; marriage should keep you on your toes,” he added.
Cost sharing
Ofweneke’s concerns come after he advised men to stop cost-sharing with their girlfriends, adding that the 50/50 policy in a relationship will lead to a break-up.
In a video shared on his Instagram account on Wednesday, December 18, 2024, the comedian noted that splitting the bills in a relationship will give the woman power to feel that both of you are equal and also be disrespectful.
“Men of this generation, stop this nonsense of 50/50. 50/50 will break your relationship or your marriage if you are not one hundred per cent financially stable to take care of your wife, family, my brother; then do not marry. 50/50, you are giving women the power to feel that everything in that marriage is equal,” Dr Ofweneke said.
“When you allow your woman to do 50/50, she will even come home as you do because it is 50/50; she will talk to you the way she wants because it is 50/50 wachaneni na pesa ya wanawake, pesa ya mwanamke ni sumu wachana nayo.”
He further stated that money may not be everything in a relationship, but it is a fueler.
“I need men of this generation to understand that women were not born to take care of themselves; they were born to be taken care of. Mwanamke ni wa kuchungewa sio wakujichunga; that’s why when a woman takes care of something in the house, she will shout on top of the mountain because it is a surprise. It is a big deal to her when she buys dinner because she is not supposed to,” Dr Ofweneke said.
“A man will never brag about ati amelipa rent, amenunua chakula ama anunua nguo because it is his responsibility and it is not a surprise, but when a woman does something she is not supposed to, she will shout because it is not in her nature.”
